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Heart of green

Submitted by Mini on Sun, 2024-06-16 13:37

My heart doesn't just love you,
It's so full of you
Your compassion, generosity, kindness
Your face,
A portrait painted by angels,
And green,
It's everywhere
In fields of green where dreams ignite,
Each leaf adorned in morning light,
In whispering trees and mossy ground,
In silent depths where peace is found,
Where emerald rivers softly flow,
A story told by your eyes.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoet Weekly 06/16/24 to 06/22/24
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-06-16 19:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Heart of Green" beautifully captures the imagery of nature and the depth of emotions associated with the color green. The use of vivid descriptions like "fields of green where dreams ignite" and "emerald rivers softly flow" creates a serene and enchanting atmosphere. The comparison of the loved one to nature's beauty and tranquility is a powerful metaphor that adds depth to the poem.

One suggestion for improvement could be to further explore the connection between the loved one and the color green. How does the presence of green symbolize or enhance the emotions felt towards the person? Developing this metaphor could strengthen the overall theme of the poem and create a more cohesive narrative. Additionally, consider varying the rhythm or structure of the poem to add a dynamic element that complements the imagery and emotions being conveyed.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Tue, 2024-06-18 15:25

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Hello, Mini,
Very tender, dream-like! I especially like the subtle rhyme within. It adds a gentle touch. Very nice!
Thank you!
L

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