This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth

merely relishes using me pickled brine
as a practiced whereby this word sleuth
doth das scribe today July twenty seventh, tooth
house sand and twenty four, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth
rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
yours truly, a suave guy noir with couth
prominently tickles one and/or booth.

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
impersonator 'course I would unroll
welcome mat (a two seater)
roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator
three ring circuits, who runs hot

and cold compliments
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero
with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,
signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem with humorous bent
quite aware acronym designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist
may not necessarily wax poetic side,
thus scud daddy ling all poetry dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)

wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event
versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent,
who took reprieve NOT meant
as exhausting his laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance

essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch – nascent
hint of latent mordant talent
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving
straight A student in kindergarten
out the figurative window went.