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Bedtime

Submitted by Kristen H. on Wed, 2024-07-24 22:12

I put the kids to sleep
just in time
for the first tear to fall

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2024-07-25 04:12

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem has a strong emotional impact with its concise and poignant imagery. The juxtaposition of putting the kids to sleep with the falling tear creates a sense of vulnerability and perhaps a deeper emotional undercurrent. Consider expanding on this moment to provide more context or explore the feelings further to enhance the reader's connection to the scene. Additionally, experimenting with different poetic devices such as metaphor or symbolism could add layers of complexity to the theme of parenthood and emotional release.

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Lavender

Thu, 2024-07-25 21:23

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Hello, Kristen,
Yes, after the kids are asleep, sadness and loneliness creep in and can be a bit overbearing. Brief and to the point. Great title.
Hope you are well.
Thank you,
L

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