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you are so intimate
that's what I thought
as I stepped forward
my chest seemed to be caught
in the lengthy nails
I imagined to be, too true
yes that was you,....
then a side twist of my body
upon yours curvaceous
jerked me off
as you tried to too,
but sudden transformation of a reality,
to a dream that now say you,
made me go down the corridors
naked to scream
foul play upon my nerves
I did display,
how could you place
my thoughts in disarray?
to calm me down to look like a fool
Imagining in my dreams
Sweety twas really you
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nilmini
Tue, 2012-10-02 11:10
Hmmm.....
How glad I am to know that I've got the power to disarray your thoughts!
This is one of my favourites.
I like the word use and you had me checking the dictionary at times.
loved
Tue, 2012-10-02 12:26
smiles
lady thanks
you are a wonderful poet at your ung age
loved
Candlewitch
Tue, 2012-10-02 11:14
Dear Loved,
I too, liked this poem very much, because of its layers of depth. You get better and better with each new write!
always, Cat (& eddy)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geremia
Wed, 2012-10-03 19:23
Yes, Good one.
Yes, Good one.
loved
Thu, 2012-10-04 00:21
latest
selected
loved