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SOUTHERN SUMMER EVENING

Submitted by scribbler on Sun, 2024-06-16 12:25

The sun is setting behind the trees
there's just the slightest hint of breeze.
The heat of day is finally passed.
This moment won't for too long last.

Neighbor's grill is starting up;
they'r having company to sup.
Wont be long before the flavor
of grilled burgers they'll get to savor.

A pair of doves I often see
just lit for the night on a pine tree.
Don't have to wait for long
before the start cooing their song.

Lightning bugs begin their flash
while from the pond there comes a splash
as bullfrogs start their old bass song
bidding tree peepers to sing along.

The sun's now left behind red sky
as darkness rapidly comes nigh.
A whippoorwill sings out its name
in just three notes, always the same.

A barred owl calls "who cooks for you?"
declaring the evening is through.
The bane of summer buzzes by.
Straight to a zapper it will fly.

Let's finish up our evening drink.
It's time to go inside I think
the twilight has become full dark.
I hear a far off hound dog bark.

We stand as one I turn to say
"A perfect end to summer's day."

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Last few words:

An oldie from before the site crash

Editing stage:

Not actively editing

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 06/16/24 to 06/22/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-06-16 18:30

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Southern Summer Evening" does a commendable job of painting a vivid picture of a summer evening, using a variety of sensory details. The use of rhyme and rhythm is consistent throughout the poem, which helps to create a smooth flow.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. First, the use of punctuation is inconsistent. For example, in the line "Neighbor's grill is starting up;", the semicolon seems unnecessary. It would be beneficial to review the poem for punctuation errors to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Second, there are a few instances where the word choice could be more precise to enhance the imagery. For example, in the line "A pair of doves I often see," the word "see" is quite generic. A more specific verb could create a stronger image.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of poetic devices such as metaphor, simile, or personification. While the poem does a good job of describing the scene in a literal sense, using more figurative language could add depth and interest to the poem.

In terms of structure, the poem maintains a consistent form throughout, which aids in readability. However, the poet might consider experimenting with different line lengths or stanza structures to add variety and interest.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys the peacefulness and beauty of a summer evening, but could be enhanced with more careful attention to punctuation, word choice, and the use of poetic devices.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Tue, 2024-06-18 15:28