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An Opera Singer

Submitted by Sen99 on Thu, 2024-06-13 19:03

Joan was practicing her scales,
Her vocal histrionics,
Resounding down the corridor.
Help me
Help me please

Her ululations at fever pitch
Reverberating off the walls.
On the verge of hysterics
Help Me
Don’t leave me

Comically trilling
In half Italian or obscure German
Her shrill coloratura
Imperfect pitch trembling
An unknown aria
Please don’t leave me

Joan was talking in tongues
Calling up the spirits and devils
Pleading and preaching
A devotional cantor
Crying and wailing at a wake

Listening to her through a wall
While sitting here for the last hour
A siren song of dementia
Her voice gradually fades,
Tired and exhausted
Help Me
Please

An emergency buzzer hangs limp
Broken and soundless.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Contest: 
Neopoet Weekly 06/09/24 to 06/15/24
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-06-14 01:03

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

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Lavender

Sun, 2024-06-16 12:52

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Hello, Sen,
This is raw and heartbreaking. Very dramatic. If I read correctly, you have touched on the hard, painful subject of dementia. Very effective use of the life and voice of an opera singer. I'll read this again soon.
Thank you,
L

Sen99

Mon, 2024-06-17 16:31

Sen99's picture

I really appreciate you reading and commenting on this, you are correct it is about a dementia patient, challenging to write about, more distressing to hear and experience. Well done on winning the weekly contest and your new one is very nice too.

author comment

Lavender

Tue, 2024-06-18 11:04

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In reading again, the depth here is stirring. Wonderful poetic approach to a hard subject.
Thank you,
L

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