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Machine Gun me!
You inspired
and
used to boost
now you with your mind set
you feel we all are roasted
You give me the insight of a writer's mind
where blind men can see more
than those with eyes
and the brain prompts me to be reborn ,
yes reborn
don't frown
as I am on my last leg
though still fairly sound ,
you are a young one
not fifty yet
many sons you have to still beget
maybe of verse
I can bet
and now I do confess
you give me a vision
I've missed all along
now tis very strong ....
I must go back to school
and become a drop out,
In America that's the biggest qualification
for miners and minters
for Neopoets I 'd love to be one
A philanthropic
S of a Gun!
maybe a Machine gun!
at least a
Loved one!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
alidzain
Sun, 2014-05-18 14:39
loved
you make me smile with this piece bro.
Alid
loved
Mon, 2014-05-19 05:47
My mission is to make folks smile
even if they do so all the while
reading my poetry
in their own style
so smile
alid jaaan
do smile!!!!!!
loved
Geezer
Mon, 2014-05-19 09:29
You are...
a Neopoet! Your command of the English-language becomes better all the time! [ I mean that as a compliment ]
I remember when you were a great deal more enigmatic [ simply because you didn't understand as much as you do now. That said, I think you should add a [ d ] to the end of the word [inspire]. Good job on making us smile! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
loved
Mon, 2014-05-19 10:21
Thank you ever so much
d now added
good suggestion
could be a typo too
loved