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The clouds roll along
The clouds roll along
as I for you sing a song
the beauty lies is the scenes
we see
the night is young we see
we may stay awake all day all night
and kiss by the moonlight
be my light tonight
we will not sleep that's right
tonight
the vastness takes us far away
within my heart as ever
you do stay
the trees tall remind you of me
and the distant valleys
we both love to see
but tonight we will not sleep
let’s stay awake
make love to me
tonight we won't sleep
darling tonight we will forever meet
sleep… sleep not …and sleep
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
loved
Fri, 2013-12-20 08:56
you too are very
lovely thanks for the pretty comment..Captain all ahoy oh boy!
loved
weirdelf
Sat, 2013-12-21 13:43
It made sense! It is lovely to read
ah, it's been a while, friend Loved, a gem.
Do not like the last line. Spoils the whole tone.
Perhaps something like
sleep… sleep not …and sleep
but tonight we won't sleep [delete this]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Sat, 2013-12-21 21:59
Thank you Jess
corrected as suggested
Merry Christmas ,
if you believe in it
loved