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The Chosen

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Wed, 2024-06-19 09:33

The poet’s soul is like no other.
It’s sister to the stars; her brother’s
the faery folk, each mystic creature
and goddess girls who’ll never feature
or figure in most mortal’s thinking;
(She’s seen them mock while slyly winking.)

Her precious soul it senses beauty
and deems it her most solemn duty
to paint a picture on her pages,
with words of wisdom: just like sages!
Yet not pretentious, paltry preaching;
With rhyme, she’s turns her hand at teaching!

The poet’s soul is swathed in sorrow.
Since beauty, to be born tomorrow
will not be held or owned by many;
She weeps and wonders if there’s any
who’ll wake when world is filled with gladness
and sun has set on all this sadness.

Her sincere soul is slowly dying;
It’s drained of blood and tears from trying
(with desperation’s deep desire
and heaven’s true immortal fire)
to touch the hearts: stone cold and frozen;
O how she wished she’d not been chosen!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
the poet's lot
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-06-19 15:33

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Chosen" effectively captures the essence of a poet's soul and the struggles they face in conveying beauty and wisdom through their words. The use of imagery, such as being sister to the stars and brother to faery folk, adds depth to the portrayal of the poet's connection to the mystical and the ethereal. The contrast between the poet's sense of duty to share wisdom and the underlying sorrow and desperation in their efforts is poignant and thought-provoking.

One suggestion for improvement would be to consider varying the rhyme scheme or meter in certain stanzas to enhance the flow and rhythm of the poem. This could help create a more dynamic and engaging reading experience for the audience. Additionally, exploring different poetic devices or structures could further enrich the themes and emotions expressed in the poem.

Overall, "The Chosen" is a reflective piece that delves into the complexities of being a poet and the challenges of communicating profound truths to a world that may not always appreciate or understand them.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Fri, 2024-06-21 13:10

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the AI seems to have gotten a little better handle on this thing we call poetry. I totally agree with the last statement of the A.I.
~ Geez.
.

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Blue-eyed Bolla

Sat, 2024-06-22 06:13

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Many thanks Geezer. Yeah, was quite pleased with AI's feedback.

KBloor

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