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Calling Of Destiny
Buried deep within our inner being,
Borne of the truest highest nature,
Is the essence of our souls dreams,
Gifted to us by the divine creators.
The connection to our tangent of fate,
Defining reality and destined dynamics,
The capacity to become so truly great,
Harmonised to the energies of the planet.
To align the uniquest of our capacities,
And discover our innate true purpose,
Developing the profoundest abilities,
As our new talents rise to the surface.
The realisation our innermost freedoms,
When we make our future truly our own,
Justifying our decisions with true reasons,
Exceeding every limitation we have known.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-08-20 17:51
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
In analyzing the poem "Calling Of Destiny," the system notes a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB) and a steady rhythm, which lends a pleasing musicality to the piece. However, the poem could benefit from a more precise use of language. For instance, words like "uniquest," "profoundest," and "truest" may not be the best choices to convey the intended meaning. Instead, consider using more specific, concrete language to express these concepts.
The poem's theme, the exploration of inner potential and destiny, is a universal one that many readers can relate to. However, the poem could benefit from the incorporation of more specific imagery or personal experiences to make the theme more tangible and emotionally resonant for the reader.
The use of abstract concepts such as "essence of our souls dreams," "connection to our tangent of fate," and "energies of the planet" can be difficult for readers to grasp without concrete examples or descriptions to anchor them. Consider revising these lines to include more specific, concrete imagery that can help the reader visualize and connect with these concepts.
The poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza containing four lines. This consistency helps to create a sense of balance and rhythm. However, the poem could benefit from varying the line length or introducing other structural elements to create more interest and variety.
Lastly, the poem's language is generally formal and elevated, which suits the poem's serious, introspective theme. However, the use of complex language and abstract concepts can make the poem difficult to understand. Consider simplifying the language or explaining the concepts in a more straightforward way to make the poem more accessible to a wider range of readers.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Mon, 2023-08-21 11:47
Damn...
I missed out on this one! AI got here before me. I think what he/she/it is getting at, is you need to tone it down a little bit on all the big language to get your heavy-duty thinking done, because a lot of readers don't want to work that hard for their entertainment. ~Geezer.
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