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Birds (indirect imagery)
Plaintive cries of want and challenge drift through misted wood and meadow
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2017-06-27 23:21
hello!
This is pretty direct to me. Let's see what others think
Race_9togo
Wed, 2017-06-28 08:01
You guys are right. It's too direct. Took out 'feathers',
and changed the first word. Any better?
I think I may be too literal of a person, when it comes to imagery.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
scribbler
Wed, 2017-06-28 10:06
yes
Sometimes indirect or unspoken imagery can be more powerful than direct imagery simply because it allows a reader to visualize things which are specific to themselves
Candlewitch
Wed, 2017-06-28 11:04
dear Jim,
sounds like there is a duel afoot in a clearing in them thar woods! I like it!
brightest blessings.
Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Race_9togo
Sat, 2017-07-01 09:58
thanks
Cat!
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
jane210660
Wed, 2017-06-28 11:54
Yes indeed
that edit has worked brilliantly.
Jx
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